Consequential Heart Read online

  The Consequential Heart

  by Paula Freda

  Smashwords Edition

  Copyright by Dorothy Paula Freda - (Pseudonym - Paula Freda)

  January 2014

  Bookcover Insert Photo

  Licensed by Dorothy Paula Freda

  from iStockphoto.com

  All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof. This is a work of fiction; names, characters, places and incidents are a product of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

  Dedication

  With thanks to my Dear Lord Jesus and his Blessed Mother Mary whose strength, guidance, and her Holy Rosary, are my anchor in this troubled world, I dedicate this book to my husband, Domenick, whose love, patience and kindness over the past 43 years have kept my dreams and view of the romantic alive and vibrant.

  THE CONSEQUENTIAL HEART

  by Paula Freda

  CHAPTER ONE

  My dear JoAnn,

  It was a pleasant surprise to receive your letter. I'm doing fine and at last, I've found my happiness. Chris and I are married. I think this answers your question. The path is clear for you. Jim is a good man and I believe you can make him happy. And if he's attracted to you, I wish you all the luck you will need to capture his heart totally. My prayers are with you. May you find the happiness we have found.

  Love,

  Lexie and Chris

  JoAnn refolded the letter and placed it inside her middle desk drawer. She glanced at the door to her employer's office. Jim was due to return today from his escape to Montreal, where he'd gone to convalesce emotionally from his break-up with Lexie.

  In the year JoAnn had worked for him as his secretary at his father's firm, she had never seen him as despondent as that morning a month ago when he had stopped at her apartment. She was in the midst of drinking her coffee at the table in the breakfast nook of her apartment, when the jarring noise of a doorbell oppressed by a heavy nerve-wracked finger, startled her into almost dropping her mug. Luckily, as was her habit, besides holding the mug with one hand, her other hand was closed about it as well.

  Warily, she rose from her dinette chair, and walked slowly to the door, and peered through the eyehole at who the door attendant below had allowed to enter the building. She jumped back as the door rattled under a fist knocking impatiently. Jim's voice confirmed whom she thought she'd glimpsed behind her door. "JoAnn, are you there?!"

  "Jim? What's wrong?" she exclaimed, unlocking her door and opening it wide.

  The face that gazed down at her was haggard from lack of sleep. The eyes were red-rimmed and the expression desperate.

  "Oh my God, what happened to you?" JoAnn cried, pulling him into the apartment.

  "Nothing—" he started to deny. He knew his features told another story. "Lexie left me." His shoulders drooped.

  "You've been driving all night, haven't you?" JoAnn asked.

  "I stopped at my parents' home. They were kind and understanding, but I needed to figure out the why's and wherefore's myself. It was either stop at a bar and get drunk, or go somewhere quiet that didn't remind me of Lexie. The night sky was clear. I drove to Jones Beach."

  "Were you thinking of catching Pneumonia and guilting her into coming back to you?" JoAnn asked, finding it difficult to hide her anger both at Lexie and at Jim. Her feelings for him overrode the anger, and the I-told-you-so attitude. "Oh my poor, dear sweet Jim," she consoled, pulling him into her embrace. In the office, she would never speak to him in that tone or those words. He was her employer. But since that first day he had hired her as his secretary, a warm friendship had grown between them. He was single, bonded to no one, and welcomed their initial attraction. Their characters similar in many ways, they had dated. Jim was a gentleman in every sense of the word. That first year JoAnn was sure that he was on the verge of proposing marriage when Lexie Driscoll, looking tired and lost, had applied for a job she was highly overqualified to accept.

  Lexie was a tall, statuesque, strong-willed young woman, with light blue eyes that even JoAnn, blonde and blue-eyed herself, had to admit were not easy to ignore. During college, JoAnn had done a paper on classic talkies. Among the first to be filmed, was a movie titled "It". The It referred to a special quality some men and women possessed that guaranteed they were certain to win the partner of their choice. Lexie possessed that quality. One look from those eyes, would fell a man like Jim in his boots. JoAnn had heard talk in the Ladies Lounge that Lexie's mother possessed those same eyes, and quality of character that enabled her to capture the heart of a not-so-easily swayed Montanan horse rancher. Lexie's parents owned and ran a cattle and a horse ranch, and had recently celebrated their twenty-fifth anniversary.

  The moment Jim set eyes on Lexie, he was lost, as was any chance of his proposing to his secretary. JoAnn never blamed him or held ill feelings toward him or Lexie. Not that she did not battle with the green-eyed monster that daily attacked her. She honestly felt she would make Jim happier than Lexie ever could. Lexie always seemed to keep one step back from Jim. No reason given. JoAnn had suspected for the longest time that Lexie carried a torch for someone else. Feeling Jim relax a little in her arms, vindicated her assumption. "She's gone back to Chris, hasn't she?" JoAnn asked.

  "You know about him?" Jim said, back straightening at the sound of his rival's name.

  "Women tend to gossip in a Ladies' Lounge."

  Jim said forlornly, "She broke his heart, but she's still in love with him. They were a pair since childhood. I-I can't compete with that kind of love."

  "And you shouldn't have to," JoAnn said. "Look, it's evident you need some time to clear your mind. Why don't you stay here? Shower. I have some clean clothes my brother keeps here for when he visits from Montreal. You are both similar in build."

  "I remember you mentioning him. He's a mystery writer. His books do well."

  "Yes, Louis has done well for himself. He's doing research abroad presently for his new book," JoAnn said. An idea struck her. "Jim, you were contemplating a vacation soon. My brother has a very kind soul. I know he wouldn't mind your staying at his cabin on the lake."

  "Maybe you're right," Jim said. "It beats going to a sanitarium, which is where I'm headed for, the way I feel right now."

  "Yes, I think you need to get away and relax. I'll change your appointments, talk to your father. I know he'll understand and take over your cases for the time being."

  Jim said, "I stopped at the office before coming here, and left Lexie a quick note of apology, and the money she must have paid for dinner and the cab fare home. Last night, when she told me flat out where her true feelings lay, I felt so overwrought, I walked out on her in the restaurant. That was callous of me."

  "I know, Jim, you have a kind heart. You hired me, didn't you," JoAnn smiled. "Straight out of college, no real references. You can't say it was my looks. The morning I presented myself for the interview, I'd been caught without an umbrella in a heavy downpour. My hair was a mess, wet and plastered to my head; my clothes and shoes soaked and muddied. I looked more like a depression case than an applicant for a secretarial position."

  "I remember," Jim chuckled, some of the tension lifting from his downtrodden facade. "But your education was impressive, and I felt sincerity about your offer to apply yourself full-heartedly to your job, if hired. When the phone rang and you took the initiative and answered it smartly and knowledgeably, I knew you were the right girl for the position."

  Jim's gaze shifted to the window that overlooked other tall apartment buildings sandwiched between skyscrapers and warehouses. JoAnn guessed his thoughts were shifting between his personal life and his professional life. His next words satisfied her ego,
but saddened her heart. "I don't know how I would have fared professionally without your skillful care and attention at work," Jim said.

  "You deserve no less, a fine lawyer, and one of the rare breeds — a fair and honest lawyer."

  Jim gazed at JoAnn, his expression incredulous. "I'm no Perry Mason or Matlock," he laughed. "Just your average lawyer, a beginner at that."

  "Not average," JoAnn insisted." She glanced away, not wanting him to glimpse too much of the admiration and feelings he evoked in her."

  Jim gently clasped her arms and brought her gaze back to his. "There, you've done it again, lifted my spirits, helped me sort out my thoughts and see the details I might have missed. You're more than just a skilled legal secretary. You're a friend, JoAnn, a rare find, yourself."

  That was all he saw her as, a caring friend, she pondered, sending him a thankful smile. That was it. You could not make anyone love you, unless the initial attraction at least had been there in the first place — the exact sentiment that Lexie expressed once in the Ladies Lounge while regaling her co-workers with her parents' love story.

  Lexie had broken her attachment to Jim, but two years ago, she had broken her engagement with Chris, her childhood sweetheart, who she professed to love still. There was no guarantee she might not change her mind again. Nothing binding, no promises made, that might make her think twice before altering her decision once more.

  No use dwelling on choices made, JoAnn chided herself. "It's getting late, Jim," she said. "I'll need some extra time at the office to make the arrangements for your trip and cancel or change appointments. Stay here; make yourself some breakfast or lunch. You may want to jot down last minute work instructions. I'll get in touch with my brother. He's on the move through northern Europe, but he did send me a cell phone number through which I can reach him. I don't want him coming home unexpectedly and not knowing you are staying at the cabin."

  Jim nodded, appreciatively. "As always, you know exactly how to sort out the details. I'll take up your offer for breakfast, then head back to my apartment and start packing. Will it be alright if I stop by tonight to pick up the plane tickets?"

  "Yes, of course. And I'll have a rental car waiting for you with in-car GPS and online trip planning directions to the cabin, uploaded, when your plane lands."

  "Thanks, JoAnn."

  Jim had planned a week's vacation, but it was nearly a month before he felt ready to return to work with a clear head. During this time, Lexie married Chris, and JoAnn's brother contacted her to tell her he was on his way back from his research trip. Jim quitted the cabin as soon as Louis returned.

  The phone on her desk rang, startling JoAnn back to the present. She took a breath to collect her thoughts and answered, "Mr. James Nelson's office. JoAnn Hennessey speaking."

  "Hi, JoAnn, it's me. I'm downstairs, at the cafeteria in the lobby, picking up a coffee. Would you care for me to bring you up a cup? I spoke to my Dad last night, and he said I have a load of cases to review and get up to speed upon."

  Hearing his baritone voice after weeks of missing his youthful, sophisticated presence, made her pause and smile in earnest.

  Jim asked, "Want the coffee?"

  "No, but thank you. Kenny passed with the coffee cart a few minutes ago. I've already had mine. But it's wonderful that you're back. I— we've all missed you," JoAnn said.

  "Thanks, my dear Miss Hennessey; that means a lot. I'll be right up."

  JoAnn hung up the phone. She knew his use of her surname was meant as a friendly endearment, but all the same, it made her feel estranged. She was no more than a loyal and helpful secretary; their closeness only a figment of her imagination. "And if he's attracted to you, I wish you all the luck you will need to capture his heart totally...." Lexie had written.

  JoAnn piloted her thoughts toward the heavy workload ahead. She readied her pencils and pad, and waited quietly, like an indispensable, good little secretary. Then something inside her exploded!

  CHAPTER TWO

  James B. Nelson, Esq., exited the elevator and turned the bend in the carpeted hallway leading to the law firm that his father partnered with him and two others. Compared to his last walk down the hallway, his pace had regained some of its briskness. Barely aware of his lips mouthing an old favorite tune, he reached the glass door with the names labeled in gold leaf, Nelson, Nelson Jr., Howard & Finley, Esqs. Jim paused a moment to inhale deeply. His all-weather coat hung casually and unbuttoned. He straightened the lapels so they met evenly at the center. With determination he turned the doorknob and pushed the door open. Time to put his life back on track, he told himself.

  Leanne, the receptionist, was the first to greet him with a genuine smile. "Welcome Back, Sir."

  "It's good to be back," Jim acknowledged, continuing toward JoAnn's office, which prefaced his.

  If there was anyone ready and capable that he could trust to help him resume his old life, it was JoAnn, kind, sensitive and loyal, not to mention her excellent secretarial skills, a blessing to any lawyer.

  He opened the door, JoAnn's name on his lips, but the chair behind her desk was empty. Automatically, he scanned the room — the file cabinets, the bookcases with the law volumes. Oh, he thought, she must be in his office laying out the case files needing his immediate attention. He hurried through into his office. She was not there. He checked his watch: eleven o'clock. JoAnn habitually ate lunch at one o'clock. And besides, he had spoken to her only fifteen minutes ago. Ah, he thought, surprise lessening, she was probably in the ladies lounge, refreshing the light make-up she wore. In his opinion, she was naturally attractive, but she was tidy, and a stickler when it came to her appearance.

  Jim removed his coat and hung it up on the dark wood coat stand in the corner. The pole with its curved hooks was a treasured antique that had been with the firm for decades. Polished to a deep dark brilliancy, Jim felt it added elegance to the room, for the most part modernly furnished. Though grey metal and digital equipment were the norm in most offices, Jim felt a lawyer's office should display the old charm of polished wood, and smell of lemon oil and beeswax, like that of famed lawyers centuries past. Admittedly, his personality carried a streak of the old fashioned.

  Files marked "URGENT" were already spread across his desktop. He sat down in his comfortable upholstered chair and began to re-familiarize himself with the case histories. He spent the next two hours jotting down notes on each file for actions and forms needed. The silence in JoAnn's office finally alerted him that something felt amiss. Her voice on the phone, or the tapping of her fingertips on the computer keyboard, or the sound of papers rustling and file cabinet drawers opening and closing were eerily missing. She might have returned, quietly opened his door and peeked in, seen him immersed in his work, and closed the door as quietly so as not to disturb him. It was not uncommon for her to do this.

  Jim left his desk and went into his secretary's office. JoAnn was not there. Neither did it appear that anything had been disturbed in the room. The workbaskets, the chair behind her desk, the papers on her desk, appeared untouched and in the same place as when he had walked through her office earlier that morning toward his own. Something wasn't right. He went into the lobby where the receptionist sat.

  Leanne heard his footsteps and quickly dropped the book she had been reading onto her lap. She pushed herself and her swivel chair forward so the desktop covered her lap.

  Jim didn't waste time reprimanding her. She did her job well and though reading for entertainment on the job was frowned upon, as long as the office ran smoothly, the senior staff turned a blind eye.

  "Have you seen JoAnn?" Jim asked, hopefully.

  Leanne eyed him curiously. "Yes, Mr. Nelson, this morning, shortly before you arrived."

  Non-plussed, Jim asked, "Well, where is she?"

  "Well, she went out again. I thought you knew. She said not to disturb you. In fact, she left instructions with Carol to cover for her. Her workload has been light this week. She will be happy to help. Honestl
y, we all thought you knew."

  Perplexed, Jim grimaced. "Did she say where she was going?"

  "No, sir. But she did look somewhat peaked. I asked if she wasn't feeling well, but she didn't answer me. Just went out." Seeing his frown intensify, Leanne said, "I'm truly sorry, Mr. Nelson. Do you want me to call her at home?"

  "No, I'll call her. She might be ill. She has carried a heavy workload this past month. I'll take care of it."

  CHAPTER THREE

  The note-sized envelope attached with heavy-duty clear packaging tape on the door to JoAnn's apartment, bore his name in large bold script — James B. Nelson.

  No use ringing her doorbell, Jim thought, nerves rattling. The door attendant, who also served as a guard at the entrance of the apartment building, knew him from past visits. He had informed him that JoAnn had gone on a trip and would not return for some time. She did, however, leave a message for him taped to her door.

  The word tape brought a flummoxed twist to his mouth. The heavyweight sticky plastic strip that she had used, and the obvious pressure of her hand as she scripted his name across the small envelope, screamed fury at him. And she'd made sure the envelope remained glued until he plucked it off the door himself.

  Lord, he grimaced, had the workload been that heavy to cause JoAnn a breakdown. No, there was more to this, he thought, sincere worry replacing impatience. JoAnn had a steady, resourceful mind.

  Well, he thought with determination, he would find her. But first, he had to read her note. It might offer some clarity to this matter, or at least tell him where she had gone.

  Her brief note did not tell him where she had gone, but it did reveal the why. Jim gazed into thin air, stupefied, the torn envelope and the unfolded note held limply in one hand. Her brief message kept repeating in his mind.